In Her Dreams
by Princess-Leasel
Summary: Stella realizes that the only place she can be with the man she loves is in her dreams. SMacked.


**In Her Dreams.**

Stella grabbed a pillow and squashed it down over her head.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" She screamed into the pillow whilst blindly slamming her hand down on everything on her night stand, until she eventually hit her alarm clock.

Feeling something rub against her arm, she flinched.

"Stel, baby, it's me." Sighing, Stella squeezed her eyes shut, willing her oncoming headache to leave.

When she felt kisses being placed down her neck, she opened her eyes and looked at her latest boyfriend. Quickly kicking off the blankets, Stella stood and rushed into the bathroom.

"Stella?"

"I'm just having a shower."

"Need some compa-"

"No thanks." Locking the bathroom door, Stella turned the shower on and stepped in, cringing as the hot water washed over her body.  
Sinking to the floor Stella let the tears roll down her cheeks.

It was the same everyday. Waking up next to some man who spoilt her, pampered her, treated her the way she knew she deserved to be treated and yet she always found herself running away. She knew why. It was him. The man of her dreams. And not only did he control her dreams every night but he also controlled her every thought during the day.

She loved their time together. She ached for it. She could have any guy she wanted, except for the one she loved. This thought was enough to reduce her to tears morning and night.

Standing up, Stella finished her shower.

Walking out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around her, Stella was relieved to find her apartment empty.

She knew she was doing it again. The moment any guy showed any sort of interest in a long term relationship, she found a way to drive them away. Today she couldn't have cared less but.

Blinking back tears, Stella continued to get ready for work, driven by the thought of seeing her man.

As she was walking out the door, he called to tell her about a break in their case. Told her which section of the lab to meet him in and asked her to come quick.

All day her insides melted every time she felt his hand touch her skin or his breath on the back of her neck as he looked over her shoulder.

Cursing herself for falling so badly for this man, she pushed on, continuing her facade she went about her day, it just came naturally to her now.

One of the new CSI's had asked her how to deal with all the terrible things they see on the job. Stella had just smiled and told the girl that you get used to it after a while but it helps to have someone to talk to.

She had always talked to him. He had always been there, no matter what, unlike every other person she had known he had not just walked in and out of her life. He was the only person she had ever trusted.

Stella walked through the parking lot until she found her car. Opening her bag she began to fish for her car keys.

Finding them, she jumped into her car and turned it on. Buckling up she reversed out of her parking space. Looking down, she put her car in drive.

When she looked up again, she saw Mac walking out of the elevator hand in hand with a tall red-head beauty.

Stella felt the colour drain from her face. Squeezing her eyes shut she said over and over, "Friends, friends, they are just friends. He would tell you if he was seeing someone. Just friends, nothing to worry about."

Opening her eyes Stella let out a gasp of surprise. Everything around her went black except for the image of this woman kissing her Mac.

A single tear rolled down her face.

Quickly wiping it away, she noticed Mac heading in her direction. Pretending she hadn't seen him, she drove off.

She managed to keep a firm hold on her emotions until she was safely inside her apartment.

Stretching her arm out for support from the wall, Stella stumbled into the lounge room and collapsed on the couch in a wave of tears.

She was heart broken. Not only from seeing the man she loved with another woman but also from the fact he hadn't told her about it.

_'Why wouldn't he tell me about something like this? For the past 5 years I have been there for him. The ups, the downs and well the downs again, but yet he didn't trust me enough to tell me he was finally seeing someone. He's finally broken out of his slump, moved on from Claire, god rest her soul, but he has moved on with some random women who has just walked into his life out of no where. Not me. The woman that has been by his side the entire time. For years I have been dreaming of this day. The day Mac Taylor would be able to love another woman again. That woman just wasn't going to be me. _

Stella could hear the phone ringing in the background somewhere. She knew who it was. They had been friends for years. They knew each other as well as they knew themselves. She had never doubted that he wouldn't have realized something was wrong.

Pulling herself up off the lounge, she walked into her bedroom and curled up in bed. The phone was still ringing.

Her tears started to fall again as she realized that the man of her dreams was exactly that, the man of her _'dreams.'_

In that moment Stella realized that the only place she could ever be with the man she loved was when she was asleep.  
Slowly closing her eyes, she drifted off into the one place she was truly happy.

In her dreams.

* * *

Just a quick story a thought up. havent written anything in a while so hopfully i haven't lost my touch.  
please tell me what you think on your way out.  
XxPrincess-LeaselxX 


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